


i thought we had more time

by LuciferCaelestis



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, POV Shiro (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Sheithlentines 2018, You were warned..., your soulmate's last words are written on your wrist au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-23 15:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13790505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciferCaelestis/pseuds/LuciferCaelestis
Summary: Later, after the war, he’d be able to tell Keith how he felt. It was better that way. Plus, a cowardly voice at the back of his mind whispered, what if he was wrong? What if Keith didn’t feel the same way? It was better if he waited.They still had time.





	i thought we had more time

**Author's Note:**

> for [apocaplypticprince](https://apocaplypticprince.tumblr.com) for the Sheithlentines 2018 exchange on tumblr. i'm so so sorry i'm late!!! i hope you enjoy this. thanks so much to [MiidiocreShards](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiidiocreShards/pseuds/MiidiocreShards) for the beta, i couldn't have done this without you.

Naxzela had been the turning point for everything.

They had argued after the mess that was Naxzela whether they should allow Lotor his freedom and accept his help.

Surprisingly, it had been Lance who offered a solution.

If they couldn’t trust Lotor not to betray them in battle, then a trusted member of the team would just have to fly with him.

“I’ll do it,” a clear voice rang through the room. Everyone’s jaw dropped when they realized who the speaker was: Keith.

The bigger surprise was that he and Lotor had struck up an unlikely friendship, and sometimes Shiro was left wishing that he could be the one beside Keith, laughing with him.

Lotor proved to be an excellent pilot as well as a capable strategist, but the most valuable thing he offered was information. Even during his exile, he’d made sure to keep tabs on Zarkon and his elite, and his term as the effective emperor had given him a unique insight into the system.

With his help and the added information gathered by the Blade of Marmora, they’d determined the best targets to dismantle Zarkon’s empire: his commanders. Each of Zarkon’s commanders had been given a system to control. By eliminating each commander’s base, it made it that much easier for them to liberate every planet in the system.

Their first successful mission had them attacking the once-general Prorok’s sector, given how they’d just recently suffered through a change of leadership. Lotor had been grimly amused when he heard of how easily they’d taken over the base later.

From then on, they would begin to hit every planet in that sector to get rid of the Galra bases or outposts or just talk to the leaders and invite them to join the Coalition.

They’d taken full advantage of Zarkon’s grudge against his son, using Lotor as a diversion of sorts while they hit each base.

Zarkon caught on after time, but by then it was too late. After months of non-stop battle, they’d liberated over two-thirds of Zarkon’s empire, with more and more planets coming in every day to swear allegiance to the Coalition.

Finally, they'd decided it was time to launch an attack against Zarkon's last remaining stronghold. It was their riskiest plan yet but for the first time, it felt like they could actually do this.

The Anverra base was at the heart of the Vitar system. Incidentally, it was also dangerously close to the empty husk that had once been Daibazaal. Of course, after Daibazaal’s destruction, Zarkon had abandoned his home planet for a different base, but he’d delegated control of the system to a trusted commander.

With the way they’d been picking off Zarkon’s commanders though, it was unsurprising that he’d retreated to the most important base he had.

The plan was this: Working in tandem with the Blade of Marmora and the rebels, the Paladins would hit the base with the help of the Blades while the rebels would distract any would be back up by making nuisances of themselves in a different quadrant.

With the help of an insider Blade member, Lotor and the Blades sneaked onto the base and began disarming the security, cutting down any threat before giving the paladins the signal to begin their part of the plan.

Before they’d all left for their respective lions, Shiro pulled Keith aside for a final talk.

As the others left to get into their positions, Keith approached Shiro with his usual grace and fluidity. Apparently the Blades had only brought out more of the parts of Keith he was used to seeing. Keith paused for a brief moment, but the small gesture grabbed Shiro’s attention. And when he took a closer look, hesitance was written all over Keith. 

It was there in the way he didn’t look at Shiro, and the distance he put between them, how he crossed his arms instead of keeping his relaxed posture like he usually did with Shiro.

It was like they’d gone back to the early days of their relationship.

He’d been so busy lately, what with the massive victory at Naxzela, Lotor’s proposal and the subsequent plan to take over more of Zarkon’s bases, that he hadn’t realized how long it had been since he had really seen Keith, really talked to him.

When had they gotten so distant from each other?

In the deepest part of his mind, he wondered if he had been avoiding Keith deliberately, using excuses to justify it to himself. That Keith was the one who left first. And even though he’d understood, had even supported Keith in his decision to leave, some part of him couldn’t help but feel lost without the presence of his constant.

But it appeared that in his hurt, he’d somehow given the impression that he didn’t want to see Keith. And Keith, being himself, had decided to respect Shiro’s wishes.

“Keith?”

“Yeah?” Keith’s voice was quiet, but at least his shoulders had relaxed a little.

“We haven’t been able to talk much recently, and I know that some of it is my fault. I’m glad you decided to go with the Blades, it was your choice to make and I support it. I just–”

He took a steadying breath. “I just miss you sometimes. If it ever seemed like I was avoiding you on purpose, I promise it wasn’t because of you. I miss my best friend.”

Keith’s eyes softened. “I miss you too.”

Shiro's mind yelled at his body to move, for a hug, a kiss, _something_ to bridge this distance between them. Something to convey the feelings he’d been holding back for so long.

There had always been something between them, something unspoken that he'd promised to discuss with Keith once he got back.

Of course, he’d never come back, and even now they were in a hopeless dance around each other’s feelings, trying not to say anything that would ruin the delicate balance they’d created.

No. This wasn’t the right time to start anything. They were trying to end an intergalactic war. 

His feelings should never come before the safety of the universe. 

Later, after the war, he’d be able to tell Keith how he felt. It was better that way. Plus, a cowardly voice at the back of his mind whispered, what if he was wrong? What if Keith didn’t feel the same way? It was better if he waited.

They still had time.

So, he parted ways with Keith, confident that he’d at least done one thing right.

Once they were all ready inside their lions, it was time to implement the plan.

Lotor had been given the task of dealing with Haggar, accompanied by Kolivan and several other Blades. Her defeat was key for this entire plan. As Lotor said, the power behind Zarkon lied in the form of his Witch.

Keith would be supporting the team on the battlefield in Lotor’s comet-ship, while they tackled the problem of Zarkon. 

The rebels and whatever support they’d gotten from the Coalition would be dealing with the rest of Zarkon’s army, covered by Coran and Slav from the castle.

Like their last full out battle with him, Zarkon faced them in armour, almost like a Robeast.

The same kind of armour that had allowed him to go toe-to-toe with Voltron like last time. And like the last time it happened, Shiro had a bad feeling about what was coming.

Zarkon’s blows came heavy and without warning, leaving no room for them to form Voltron. Only when a particularly effective combination of Hunk’s shoulder-cannon and Keith’s laser-blasts distracted him long enough for them to even make the attempt.

Shiro expected a barrage of unrelenting, crushing attacks but Zarkon seemed to be slowing even further. His last few blows had barely laid a scratch on them, yet every hit they landed on him left him staggering. When the report came in from Kolivan saying that Haggar was dead, once and for all, it started making sense.

Someone cheered and even Shiro found himself smiling for the first time since the battle began. Victory felt so close.

They took advantage of Zarkon’s weakness, driving him back further and hitting him with everything they had.

Further reports from Coran said that they were making quick work of the remnants of Zarkon’s army, and with Zarkon cornered, they were so close to ending this.

So close. They were so close to finishing this at last.

"Shiro, behind you!" Keith yelled.

Shiro jerked Black's controls up just in time to avoid being hit by Zarkon’s attack. It gave him an idea.

Zarkon was getting more desperate, that was obvious enough. And it was only a matter of time before he came too close, aiming for Voltron’s weak spot. Shiro was counting on it.

“Brace yourself, guys,” Shiro warned as Zarkon’s weapon swung down on them.

Breathless after the impact of Zarkon’s attack hit them, he wasted no time telling the team to insert their Bayards.

“Now!”

Their combined Bayards formed a blade-like weapon, and together they thrust it through Zarkon’s armour, piercing his heart.

Zarkon coughed, his body convulsing for a moment before going completely still. The eerie purple glow of his eyes dimmed before it faded completely. A moment passed, and then two, and the whole team gave a collective sigh of relief.

Zarkon was dead. It was over.

They’d only had a few minutes to enjoy the bone-deep relief when a blaze of light blinded them, coming from the dead husk of Daibazaal.

And then, the creatures emerged.

When Coran had spun the tale of the former paladins and their battles against eldritch horrors coming from a rift between universes, it had been easy enough to picture. But the creatures that came twisting sinuously from the rift were far more terrifying than he had ever imagined.

His stories hadn’t managed to capture the feel of the monsters, how wrong they felt, like discordant notes in the harmony of the universe.

_Wrong, wrong, wrong–_

He could only watch in horror as the creatures converged on Zarkon's dead body, merging with it, until his armour stitched itself back together, glowing with power and the feeling of utter wrongness intensified.

Shiro blinked, and suddenly the creature possessing Zarkon was _right in front of them_ , swinging its sword towards Voltron. They barely managed to dodge the attack in time.

It wasn’t fazed and just kept up firing attacks at them, leaving them scrambling to get away from the blasts.

Shiro could barely contain a growl of frustration. 

The creature, whatever it was, used Zarkon's attacks, and powered by the strange quintessence it seemed to be made of, was more powerful than anything Zarkon had been hitting them with. 

The first time they’d been hit by a focused blast of its quintessence, it had taken Keith’s quick thinking to distract the beast long enough for them to recover. 

No matter how fast they attacked it, they always seemed equally matched. It was faster and deadlier than Zarkon had been. 

Keith’s blasts were hitting it the most, too fast for it to dodge. But that didn’t even matter. No matter how many times they hit it and broke it apart, it just came back together in the end.

__

Shiro had seen some frightening things in his time but seeing a blown up enemy literally stitching itself back together was one of the most frightening things he’d ever seen.

__

They spent what felt like hours trading blows and just barely hanging on to survival. What was worse was that they were getting tired after such long battles, and the creature wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

__

If their reactions got any slower, they wouldn’t make it out alive from this battle. And they were still no closer to finding a way to defeat it.

__

“I don’t think we can take much more of this,” Hunk said, sounding exhausted.

__

“That fight with Zarkon took a lot out of us,” Lance agreed.

__

“I’ve been trying to find a way to destroy it but it doesn’t help that our enemy’s literally coming back together, no matter how hard or how many times we hit it,” Pidge said, frustrated.

__

“Forget how many times we hit it, if another one of those mega-blasts hits us, we’re gonna be toast, and not in a good way,” Hunk replied.

__

“Yeah, another one and it’ll be game over for us.”

__

Shiro had to agree. Whatever it was that had hit them felt like what he imagined a bomb would feel like, and they had needed a few minutes to recover. They had to depend on Keith to distract the thing again and he’d survived only through the speed and maneuverability of his ship and his own formidable piloting skills.

__

They cheered when Keith managed to land a hit on one of the only weak spots they’d found but the mood was still somber as they watched the creature freeze and break apart.

__

How did you stop an enemy that could put itself back together again?

__

But then, a feeling of dread came over him.

__

"Guys, I think I figured out a way to stop this thing,” the certainty in Keith’s voice stops everyone cold, before the comms went crazy with everyone talking all at once.

__

The others clamoured for the answer, hoping that they could end this already.

__

"It's simple. We need to destroy this thing and close the rift so nothing like it will ever come out again. So we need to push it back into the rift and then I can shut it down by blowing it up from the inside.”

__

“What? Keith, no!”

__

“What kind of idea is that?!”

__

“That’s a stupid idea, man!”

__

“It makes sense. We’d be killing two birds with one stone. We get rid of the creature and the rift, and this will never happen again. I’m the only one who can do this. You guys need someone who can fly it into the rift and won’t get caught, someone fast with a lot of firepower,” Keith stated. "I can do it."

__

Everyone started protesting, that they couldn’t just let Keith do that, they’d find another way, anything other than what he was suggesting.

__

“How?” Keith demanded. “We don’t have any other choice! If you guys get hit again, you won’t survive it and neither will I! This is our only option!"

__

Somehow, Shiro was reminded of Keith, right before their last battle with Zarkon, insisting that he could infiltrate Zarkon’s base, that _no one was commanding him, he was doing it_ , no matter what anyone said to him about it.

__

Keith’s stubbornness and willingness to do what he had to was one of the biggest things Shiro loved about him. Right then, it was also the thing Shiro hated most about him.

__

“Keith, no! Please, don’t do this! We can find another way! Please… _I love you,_ ” he pleaded.

__

Silence.

__

It wasn’t how Shiro had imagined confessing to Keith. He’d always thought that it would happen somewhere quiet and private, in a place that meant something to both of them. Not a rushed confession in the middle of battle before Keith flew towards certain death.

__

_I thought we had more time._

__

It was foolish. He'd promised himself back at the Garrison to confess after Kerberos, but things happened and then they became Paladins involved in an intergalactic war, so he'd justified it to himself that it wasn't the best time to bring it up. 

__

After the war, he’d promised himself, finding another excuse to not tell Keith. Always later, or after, taking for granted that Keith would always be there.

__

“I love you too, Shiro,” Keith’s voice interrupted his self-reproach, and Shiro’s stomach twisted at the sight of Keith on his display, a sad smile on his face and that determined light in his eyes that Shiro knew so well. "But I have to do this. This is the only way to end it. Besides… I promised, right?” 

__

There was a pause before the screen disappeared entirely, taking Keith’s face with it. “ _As many times as it takes._ ”

__

Shiro’s whole world stopped.

__

‘ _As many times as it takes_ ' had been marked on his right wrist for as long as he could remember.

__

When he was younger, he used to daydream about the kind of situations his Words would be said to him. It was romantic, he’d felt. Unique.

__

When he’d been imprisoned by the Galra, his Words were a tangible reminder of the place he came from, of home. They reminded him of his humanity. After all, Galra didn’t have Words.

__

But then they’d taken his arm from him, and along with it, his Words.

__

Even though his Words were no longer present on his body, he knew in his heart that those were his Words, and Keith was his soulmate. 

__

Keith was his soulmate, and Shiro was going to lose him.

__

He could only watch as Keith masterfully manoeuvred the creature towards the rift, not letting up on his attacks as he directed it inside and followed behind like a comet on its last voyage home.

__

It was a scene right out of his nightmares, but he knew he’d never wake up from this.

__

Haggar’s experiments hadn’t broken him. The arena had taken so much from him, but he’d retained his dignity. But this? Faced with the loss of his best friend? The man he loved?

__

For Keith, Shiro would beg. 

__

But when he opened his mouth, he couldn’t say a word. His heart was frozen in his chest, and the ice seemed to be seeping into every part of him.

__

_No, please. Not him. Please. Not him. Please let him survive this._

__

He waited. Maybe there was a chance that Keith found a way out, that he could get out of there safely, that he could survive. That they could win this without losing him.

__

His hands trembled against the controls of his Lion. He was in the most powerful weapon in the universe, but he’d never felt more helpless.

__

At first, it seemed like nothing had happened, but then, a blinding light shone from the rift, almost like a supernova, before it burst and collapsed into itself.

__

His chest _burned._

__

_NO NO NO PLEASE NO–_

__

Everything narrowed down to that singular point where the love of his life, his best friend, his soulmate had gone through a hole in the universe and never came back out.

__

He doesn’t remember the journey back to the castle. He doesn’t remember the debriefing, the looks on everyone’s faces when they break the news, and he doesn’t remember reaching his room or taking off his armour.

__

When he came to, he was on his bed, gaze unfocused on the floor, and he realized that the steady _drip, drip, drip_ of blood hitting the floor was coming from his face.

__

Oh. He’d bitten right through his lip without realizing it.

__

He got up, his limbs heavy with fatigue and grief, and managed to stumble his way to the bathroom.

__

The burning in his chest was gone, like it died when Keith did, but he couldn’t help but check it anyway, ripping off his bodysuit to get to it.

__

Branded on his chest in deep black were the words ‘ _as many times as it takes_ ’.

__

It was almost funny to him, that the Words he’d lost so long ago would only come back after he’d lost his soulmate too.

__

His Words were the last thing he had that connected him to Keith because they didn’t even have _a goddamn body to bury._

__

Everyone had a breaking point. This was his.

__

They won. Zarkon and Haggar were dead, the rift was closed and the empire was in its death throes. But as he stood there, crying alone in front of the mirror with black words on his chest reflecting the price of that victory, he could only think of one thing. _Was it worth it?_

__

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry shiro


End file.
